Words. Weighty things, they are. Words can cut us to the quick, heal past hurts, and cause deep and lasting memories—good and bad. The words we use can influence our states of mind, our states of being, and how others perceive our intentions. Why are words so powerful and why should we care?

When we choose certain words, whether unconsciously or with much deliberation, we paint a picture through the metaphors that these words create and the symbols that the words represent. To whit: Death tax versus Estate tax. Both terms refer to the same tax, but they engender quite different responses and mental images.

So consider this: if words can sway and betray; incite and ignite; belie and pacify; then imagine what those words, especially the negative ones in our day-to-day arsenal, the ones we use on ourselves and those close to us, can do to our well-being. And what if we just stopped spewing lexical garbage, whether self-talk or out loud to others, what then?

We know that when a child is told repeatedly that he or she is ugly or stupid or some other awful thing, that wounds are inflicted and scars remain. Word-scars are potentially as deep as the physical ones and can have lifelong repercussions for those with the imprint. Sticks and stones can break bones, but words can hurt us just as deeply. Each word can spread, like cancer cells, multiplying in strength and toxicity over time and use.

These days, I am all about eliminating as many toxins in my life that I can. In the spirit of spring-cleaning and toxin purge, I have decided to tidy up my language. Lest you start to worry, I will still sprinkle my conversations with the occasional colorful expletive (I mean, really, I didn’t say I was joining a convent), but I am eliminating the far more insidious, and seemingly benign, words that cause harm. First up: the word should.

I have resolved to do my best not to use the word should. Over the past few months, I have been attentive to the way I use the word and my frequency of use. Man, that word is a bugger! It shows up everywhere. “I should get more work done before I take a bike ride” “I should spend more time with him/her (even when I don’t want to)” or the advice: “You should do ________” insert my annoying unsolicited suggestion.

So I have decided to hold a funeral for should. To put to rest this nasty little mot and all its insinuated obligation and expectation. To give last rites to a word that has caused much stress, to me and to others, and I invite you to do the same. I’m not going to say that you should give up should, but think about how your days will brighten without that constant bummer of a word hanging around to muck things up, pressing you into places and spaces you don’t want to go. Oh, and for the funeral? I’m not wearing black, even if you think I should.

more inspiration here!

• Saying Goodbye: A Portrait of Grief
• Care and Feeding of the Writer’s Body
• Survive or Thrive?
• The Psychic Weight of Stuff