I admitted her to the emergency room early one February morning, her yearlong decline in vitality at such a point that there was no other choice.

She spent three days in the hospital. I sat there with her, watching her, in pain and frightened, looking more petite than she is (if that’s possible). I sat with her for fifteen hours on that first day, trying not to look as worried as I felt, and then spent about ten hours with her each of the following two days.

We were lucky, she couldn’t have waited another day; her heart was giving out.

Fast-forward five weeks and my mom is doing fine. She is able to go on our morning dog walks, to her exercise classes, and putter in her garden. Each day she gets stronger, and each day I feel so fortunate to have her.

Throughout this ordeal, I have reflected on many things. Mortality, for one. The concurrence of this event with a milestone birthday for me made the temporality of life even more profound. And I also thought about medical insurance, and how the state of it truly sucks, and about the sub-par care of the physician who allowed my mom’s health to weaken rather than to be bothered with figuring out what was wrong with her. The cardiologist who operated on her, however, was excellent and I am grateful for his humanity and skill.

But the thing that keeps rattling around in my brain is how people offer help.

I do believe that everyone who offered to help was sincere and well intentioned, but with a little more awareness of what people in crisis truly need, their offers could have made a difference in my life and my mom’s.

During the three hospital days, my phone was buzzing constantly. Texts, emails, and calls—triaging the electronic flow was a colossal feat. Concerned friends offered their help, but in a way that was not easy to accept. The usual way help was offered was like this: I’m sorry about your mom, let me know if I can help. 

Think about the times that you have made that offer. Hell, I have done so plenty of times. So what’s wrong with this offer? This offer to help doesn’t work because it places the weight of the how to help decision on the person that is overwhelmed and can’t make any (more) decisions.

It’s actually a burden to the person in crisis.

Let me break it down like this: I needed help. I needed someone to bring me food that I could eat (hospitals = awful, unhealthful food), to check on my dog and my mom’s dog, to make some food that I could have at the house for my mom when she returned home—a simple soup would do. Yet, at the time the help was offered, I couldn’t think of what my mom and I needed so we didn’t get help that we could have used.

This is not to say that many people didn’t offer the right help—in fact, if it weren’t for my best friend and a few others, who knew to offer specific ways they could help, then those three days, and the days following, would have been even more exhausting.

My aim is not to admonish anyone who offered help to me or to anyone else; my goal is to help goodhearted people offer assistance in a meaningful ways so that their offer can be accepted. So, with that intention, here are a few tips on how to offer help:

• Use your skills. Are you a good cook? A pet lover? Maybe you are the fastest grocery shopper in the county. Whatever it is, offer that skill as a service to your friend in need. Offer to make food, deliver a bag of groceries, or walk their dog.
• Follow up. After a few days go by, when everything has ostensibly calmed down, check in. This is when most people fall off the radar thinking everything is ok. It may be, but that doesn’t mean that there isn’t some emotional or physical fall-out, especially for the caretaker who could benefit from a kind word or deed.
• Ask a friend. Not sure exactly what to do for your friend? Ask their closest friend. Chances are, that person is shouldering much of the responsibility of being second-caretaker-in-command. Find out what that person is doing to help and offer to take a task or two from them.

It’s simple, really, this helping thing.

We all need it, and if not now, sometime we will. Take the time to pause, and offer something concrete. And don’t forget about the person or people in crisis days or weeks after the storm has passed. This is often the most difficult time, and the time when your friendship and care means the most.

photo credit: h.koppdelaney via photopin cc

The personalized [writing] prompts really made me take a deeper look at what mattered to me, more so than any other exercise I’ve yet come across that promises to help you “find your own voice”. I discovered WHY I bother to write in the first place, and I can’t tell you what a shift that’s made in my creativity.

You are not broken.

Your flaws are not fatal.

Your eccentricities and sensitivities don’t make you a monster; they mark you as human. And what, if not that, are you meant to be? You are here to be the highest expression of yourself. You are a thread in the weave of humanity.

You have all you need to know. You don’t need any more workshops, or trainings, or external degrees. You are eminently qualified to be you.

The things that scare you are the things you need to explore. Embrace your dark side.

Sit with your sadness. Don’t judge it; just be with it. Feel it. Let it overflow like the tears you are trying to suppress, and then watch it retreat back to the well.

You are just like the tide. You are made of the same briny stuff. The ebb and flow and all that.

The less you run from it, or try to tame it, the more you will blossom. You are a late bloomer. An early riser.

A night owl.

You are misunderstood. So what.

You are neither easy to contain nor define.

So let go. Don’t hold the reins so tight. In fact, drop the reins. See where the winds will take you. You don’t control any of this, anyway. No, you don’t.

You are fine. You are not broken.

Maybe you need an infusion of deep joy and naked laughter, but you are definitely not broken.

If you forget that you are not broken, return to this place.

I’ll be here to remind you.  

photo credit (my edits): erix! via photopin cc

Yeah, you on the other side of the screen… Wake up!

I mean it. Even if you think you are awake, likely you are just sleepwalking through the day. And that cup of coffee? Not going to help for this kind of wake-up.

No, I am talking about waking from your get-up-work-eat-drink-sleep-repeat lifestyle. I’m surprised you even call it living. And lifestyle? Not much style there if you ask me.

I have big dreams, and like me, I bet you do, too. Or at least you did at one time. So, what happened? When did they start to slip away? And what are you going to do to get them back?

More importantly, how are you going to make your dreams come true? Sitting on the sidelines as you watch others and compare your lot to theirs is not going to make it happen. Neither is sitting in front of the television watching Friends re-runs (unless that is your dream).

No tiger, you need to learn to swim.

Swimming tiger, what? That’s right, swimming tiger. When most people think of cats, especially big cats, they don’t picture them in water. What’s your first vision of a tiger? Perhaps it’s the image of a beautiful and deadly creature, strolling low-slung through the jungle, mouth open and panting, looking for it’s next snack. Yeah, me, too.

Your dreams deserve an advocate. Stand up for your dreams because nobody else will.

You’ve got to learn to go against the grain, defy odds, buck trends, and swim against the tide. You need to surprise people—surprise yourself—by swimming like a tiger.

So, tiger, where can you start? Small steps add up to major movement. Here are a few you can take to move your dreams from idea to reality:

• Write it Down. What is your top dream? The thing that wakes you at night? The one you daydream about while waiting in line at the DMV? Is it to be location-independent, traveling and working from any place on the planet (with good internet service)? Is it to move out of the cube farm and into entrepreneur city? Or maybe your big dream is about relationships and family. Whatever it is, that big one, write it down!
• Post it in Triplicate. Now that you have written it down, put it on 3 separate pieces of paper and then tape, glue, or nail each piece of dream paper in 3 visible places. Locations you see several times a day like the bathroom mirror, the refrigerator door, and your steering wheel.
• Recite it. Every time you pass by one of your dream papers, pause a moment and read it out loud. Sear it into your memory. Imagine being in that dream. Act as if it’s already the truth.
• Make Contact. Who is a living example of your dream? Whom do you admire? Ok, now, with that person in mind, you are going to contact them. If it’s Oprah, go for it, but have a few other people in mind who are living or pursuing something similar to your dream, and prepare yourself to contact them, too. The odds of a reply are likely a bit higher if your person is someone other than Richard Branson or Oprah.
• Make a Plan. Grab a legal pad or open a spreadsheet, whichever you prefer. Go ahead, I’ll wait. Ok, good, ready? Make four boxes on the page. Each quadrant represents 3 months. In each box list the months for that quarter (Feb-Apr, for instance) and the big goal that you want to achieve during that period. Remember, the quarterly big goals lead up to realizing your dream goal (the big, BIG goal).Next, list 3 mini-goals that support your quarterly goal. For instance, if your quarterly goal is to learn Spanish because your dream is to live in Spain, then one of your mini-goals may be to check out language schools in your area. Another may be to hire a tutor or enroll in classes. The third may be to meet a native Spanish-speaker to exchange conversation with.

These are just ideas, and let’s face it, you will not learn Spanish in three months, but just like anything else, you won’t learn, or do, if you don’t start, so the idea is to start somewhere, something, today.

Now it’s your turn. What’s your big dream (or one of them)? Where do you want to go? Want to live? What do you want to be? Do for a livelihood? I want to know, and I want to support you. Leave a comment and tell me where you are stuck, frustrated, or at a loss, and I will do my best to help you pinpoint your next steps.

You have nothing to lose (except your dreams) and everything to gain when you learn to swim like a tiger.

photo credit: fridayschild68 via photopin cc

Never before has so much information, so much stuff, been available to us at all hours of the day and night. It’s like a fire hose that we can’t turn off. I see us, this human species, on the precipice of something great—or not. The choice is ours.

To move beyond the constraints of selfishness, of a me-centered mindset, will take time and intention. We are at nearly 7 billion people on this planet that we call Earth and it’s not sustainable to continue living the way we have over the past few decades.

I propose we move toward an integrated way of being, of living, a way that includes liberal doses of laughter, critical thinking, and good chocolate. I propose that we start seeing the other, one another, as ourselves. To recognize that we are not separate, but inextricably linked; we are the same. I propose a World Becoming.

Below are my guiding principles on a World Becoming: A Personal and Global Manifesto. Some are ideas and some are suggestions. Some require reflection, others require action.

1. Borders are a human construct. No one owns the land. Fear constructs borders around place, heart, etc. Fear is impossible to eliminate completely, but notice when you are afraid and how that fear makes you interact with the world and people around you.

2. Those who dwell in liminal spaces, on the margins, the edges, the in-between places, will prosper in the World Becoming.

3. Embrace Uncertainty. You don’t control anything (or much), anyway.

4. Strength and vulnerability are not mutually exclusive qualities. To be strong, one must be able to relate to others in a heart-open way.

5. Leaders serve; Managers maintain the status quo. You can lead even if you have a job. No one is the boss of you—you might have a manager at work, but you are your own boss.

6. Your life is your biggest and best creation, make it good, put your all into it, and live like you mean it.

7. Connect with others. Learn a language. Embrace cultures that are foreign to you. You are not the center of the universe (isn’t that a relief?).

8. Swim against the stream. Defy convention. Question everything (including your own assumptions). Be humbled. Wonder at nature. Dance with your eyes closed.

Now it’s your turn. Who will you be, what will you do, and how will you usher in the World Becoming?

photo credit: gadl via photopin cc

If you are lucky to have a writer or three in your life and you are stumped for gift ideas, I have few suggestions that will be sure to keep their words flowing all year long. And, just maybe, you might want to add a few of these to your wish list, too!

Below are some of my favorite tools for writers: books, software, and more.

In the holiday spirit,

Shanna

Great Gifts for The Writers in Your Life

Moleskine Notebook (from $12.21 at Amazon).

This is the classic notebook for worldly writers. First popularized by Bruce Chatwin,
Moleskine notebooks feature lined, blank, or ruled pages and interior pockets.
A must for any budding or seasoned writer!

The Productive Writer: Tips & Tools to Help You Write More, Stress Less & Create Success by Sage Cohen ($12.40 from Amazon).
Simple, actionable ways to write more and stress less (just like the title says!).

The Pocket Muse: Ideas & Inspirations for Writing by Monica Wood ($12.99 from Amazon).
A lovely book full of inspiring images, prompts, and quotes to get the ink flowing.

The Observation Deck: A Toolkit for Writers by Naomi Eppel ($14.96 from Amazon).
The Observation Deck is a 160-page book filled with writing secrets, insights, tips, and exercises.
It comes with 50 flash cards designed to help writers overcome blocks to creativity.

Wild Mind: Living the Writer’s Life by Natalie Goldberg ($11.56 from Amazon).
The bestselling author of Writing Down The Bones, offers “practical, and often humorous advice about how to find time to write, how to discover your personal style, how to make sentences come alive, and how to overcome procrastination and writer’s block—including more than thirty provocative “Try this” exercises to  get your pen moving.”

Membership in The Merry Inksters ($75 for three months).
If reading books full of tips isn’t enough, joining a fun community of writers is the logical next step! Offering support and accountability from other writers and a couple of experts (including yours truly).

Scrivener ($40).
Scrivener is an amazing (and affordable) resource for all writers. This software helps writers stay organized and keep track of their different projects.

This is just a partial list—what would you add?

There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.

~Ernest Hemingway

How hard can it be, this writing thing?

As a professional writer, I often hear non-writers suggest that copywriting must be easy for me since I am so good at it. That writing, for a writer, has got to be painless, just something we do naturally, like breathing. That a short project shouldn’t take too long to complete because there are so few words, and, because it’s so easy, it shouldn’t cost too much.

I am not alone.

I queried several of my copywriter pals (yo, Sirens!) who confirmed the same thing. And it goes deeper: the most frustrating thing that professional copywriters deal with is the fact that the work we must do just to get to the writing, the creative ferment that has to happen, is undervalued, overlooked, or just not acknowledged at all.

So, let me break it down, in case you are thinking of hiring a copywriter (I highly recommend this) to help with your website, collateral, or any other project, there are a few things I’d like you to consider.

The following list highlights the common problems that writers run into when working with clients.

• Time: You want the best. You want splendid, noteworthy copy. And you know what? You deserve it! But, please, we need time to ruminate. We need solitude, silence, and a good cup of warming brew (plus long walks and other creative pursuits) to get us to the fertile ground where we can begin harvesting the good stuff. Give us time. Don’t breath down our necks—believe me, we are aware of the deadlines and we hustle to meet them. Allow time for us to create copy that will make you proud.
• We Are Pros: Whether we are formally educated, erudite autodidacts, or a combination of both, we work hard at this stuff! We live and breathe words. Words, the ones we assemble for you, matter to us. We don’t want to put crap out there, so please trust us—we have done this before. And, while you might think you are buying a certain word count or number of web pages, in reality, you are getting a lifetime of experience, skill, and dedication. We rock at this, so respect your writer—we have toiled, and continue to do so, to keep our chops finely tuned.
• Unpreparedness: You have an idea. It’s a good one. You need a website, or a tagline, or a bio. Trouble is, you don’t know exactly what you want your business to be. You think it might involve intuition, the words juicy and awesomesauce, and you want your pet chinchilla to be featured prominently. Many writers (like me) also coach and provide branding services. We are a talented lot, but please, it’s your business, don’t expect your copywriter to figure it out for you. Yes we can help shape the message, but it’s your vision, so it’s your job know what that is.
• Client Edits: Yes, the work belongs to the client, and yes, as the client you can do whatever you want with it, but it kills us when you want or make edits that are not sound. Either the edits are grammatically incorrect, or don’t make sense in the context, or whatever. When your doctor tells you that you need ear surgery, do you tell her that removing the mole on your forearm will take care of the issue? I hope not. You hired us for our skills—allow us to use them!
• Death by Committee: When you take our work, whether it’s the first draft we submit or the near-final version, and you run it through the committee meat grinder, it dies. Too many editors and ideas contaminate good copywriting. Everyone has an opinion; everyone is a writer. If you want us to field multiple rounds of edits—especially from more than two reviewers (who write with crayons in the margins on a PDF copy that you scan and return to us), expect an additional charge. We are hard-working, but we are not masochists.

We writers are an amiable lot, really, and we are committed to giving you the best that we can. We want to do right by you; we want you to squeal with delight at the words we’ve strung together for you. We want you to be a blazing success. But, we also want you to understand that we are capable, professional, and we deliver (as long as you have done your due diligence—I don’t claim all copywriters, like any other service providers, have the same high standards as the writer-babes that I hang with)!

With planning and thoughtfulness, you, dear client, can be better prepared to know what you are getting and to understand why good copywriting isn’t free (or cheap). That is unless your uncle Louie, who wrote a story for his junior high newspaper 45 years ago, is willing to do it for you. But then, caveat emptor!

Are you ready  to invest in your business so that your copy supports your brand? If so, contact me and let’s chat!

They lived in Saudi Arabia, the father was headmaster at an American school, and the entire family of six would travel all over the Middle East and Europe. The one good thing I remember from that train-wreck of a relationship was his family’s mantra about packing before a trip:

Never pack before midnight, and never pack sober.

I reference that maxim often when people ask me for advice on packing light, not because I follow the adage (fully), but because it makes me smile and reminds me of the frenzy that is the night before a trip.

As I start this post on the eve before embarking on the first trip of any real length (beyond four or five days) that I have taken in a long time, like, fifteen years a long time, I muse over that dictum and my desire to travel.

Like writing, whenever I had fallow periods, and I don’t mean just the days or weeks of no writing, I mean years with very little writing activity (scary, yes, but true), I always identified as a writer. Regardless of what I was doing or where I was on my life’s journey, I was a writer.

Same goes for my identity as a traveler. Before my life became too encumbered, a state for which I take full responsibility, I was an actualized traveler. I was doing it. Not just talking or dreaming about it, but actually moving about the world with some frequency. Whether it was swimming in the warm lagoons of Bora-Bora, camping near Flathead Lake in Montana, or walking the cobbled streets of San Miguel de Allende, I was doing, not wishing.

But in the last decade plus, I have been a theoretical traveler. I have not ventured too far from home nor have I gone away for too long. Not for lack of interest in traveling, no. The reasons for this are myriad; suffice it to say that my choices and life’s circumstances conspired to keep me grounded

So here I am, finally, hitting the road, er, the skies, again. My impetus? That would be my core value: freedom. Freedom for creative expression. Freedom to determine the way I spend my time. Freedom to work with whom I feel a connection. Freedom to define and build success on my terms, timeline, and by my yardstick.

I have spent the last six or so years building a portable life. Just two years ago I would have titled this post Have Laptop, Will Travel, but in that time, I have downsized even more to develop a system for working and managing my business from my iPad. I still marvel at this. I am blessed.

But, lest you think this life of digital nomadism, location independence, or whatever you’d call it is a stroke of luck, think again.

I have worked my buns off for this. I worked a full-time job for two years while building my business, which was also full time, until I quit my day gig. I have hit some pretty low points. And yet, here I am, still doing it, still realizing this vision. Not a day goes by that I do not hustle, hone my writerly chops, and learn new skills. All in the service to a life lived on my terms, to a life of freedom.

So, maybe all that dreaming of travel that I did over the last decade was necessary.

A sort of requisite backseat passenger on this road trip to freedom, because, in order to travel the world (again), I needed to create a new paradigm for a way to be in the world.

Now, here I am, finishing this post on a plane to France without a return ticket (airline snafu, not my fault), being propelled through the night sky with hundreds of other voyagers on their own journeys, too.

And isn’t this what it’s all about? The journey? The discovery? The freedom of travel? Yes, I have an iPad, and I will travel.

post script: as of 10/13/2012, I have a return ticket home.

We go from outward expressions of self during the summer: swimming, volleyball, beach trips, and camping. As we move from summer to fall (if you are in the northern hemisphere), our attention draws inward.

Whatever hemisphere you’re in, it’s time to revive, or start, a supportive and nourishing home yoga practice. A practice that is lead by a woman whom I admire and respect: Marianne Elliott.

Marianne is a yogi with heart, smarts, and soul. Kind and compassionate, she is the author of the recently published book, Zen Under Fire, which tells the story of her time as a human rights lawyer stationed with the UN in Herat.

As the description of the book on her site says: 

Several months into her new role, a tribal leader is assassinated while she is in charge of the local UN office. She must defuse the situation before it leads to widespread bloodshed. And this is just the beginning of her story in Afghanistan.

Zen Under Fire is a vivid account of Marianne’s experience living and working in the world’s most notorious battlefield. As well as sharing the incredible details of her UN role, Marianne tells the very personal story of the shattering effect that the high-stress environment had on her and her relationships, and asks what it really means to do good in a country that is under siege from within.

As I said, this woman has heart and smarts! And as a yoga teacher, you will find her style engaging, warm, and encouraging. I wouldn’t recommend her courses if I didn’t have first-hand experience (I took her 30-Days of Yoga course) or if I hadn’t met this amazing woman in person.

I promote very few people and Marianne is one of the few whom I believe in fully, enough to be affiliated with her. I wholeheartedly recommend Marianne’s yoga courses (and yes, I am an *affiliate) and I think you will love them.

She offers four courses, all online and available to start when you are ready. I am in love with her Yoga for Busy People. Here’s what you get:

30 Days of Yoga for People Too Busy To Do Yoga includes:

• A selection of short yoga practices ranging in duration from one to twenty minutes, including grounding, breathing and short simple sequences of poses specifically designed for: energising; relaxing; and undoing the damage from spending too much time at a computer.
• Daily emails from me with encouragement and tips for fitting these short yoga practices into your busy day.
• Weekly recordings of me talking with past participants about the issues that tend to come up in each week of the practice.
• The option of being allocated an online 30 days of yoga buddy for encouragement and accountability, I’ve seen how this can really help people with their commitment to the practice (because people can start the course whenever they want, you may not get a buddy immediately and they may be on a different ‘day’ to you);
• Use of a special Twitter hashtag for daily encouragement from me and other participants and to share your progress.
• An e-book containing all the written materials from the course.

She also offers a course for beginners and one for curvy gals, too (in conjunction with Anna Guest-Jelley, founder of Curvy Yoga). All of Marianne’s yoga courses are based on the 30 Days premise. It’s a great way to start, or re-start, a healthful habit!

And, as a special treat, Marianne has provided a few samples so you can try before you buy. Check out the goods here (especially if you’re a blogger, writer, designer, or other desk jockey).

*What the heck is an affiliate? It means that if you purchase from my links, as an affiliate of Marianne’s program, I receive a small commission. Thank you.

I was on a pressured deadline. Finish my first ebook, (with everything that entails from design, to editing, to promotion) and launch it to coincide with the Trail Blazers’ Conference, all within a week. I needed help, I needed an angel. Burned out from writing the book I knew I couldn’t try to cobble a sales page together ‘just to get it done’. My first book-baby, my year-long collaboration creation deserved better than that. My readers deserved better. So I turned to Shanna. This word-mistress had my sales page turned around in less than a week. It was perfect on the first try and I couldn’t be happier. Thank you Shanna, Word Angel and Copy Creatrix!